philosophy on a zombie apocalypse…
edited snippets from a random convo with friends about the impending zombie apocalypse…
me: whenever i hear about the world ending or ZOMBIES, my first thought is good, then i won’t have to write this dissertation.
friend#1: i think the exact opposite though, when i think about zombies. like…i have to accomplish SOMETHING before it goes down.
me: nah…i’m like, that’s my ticket out! nobody cares about your degree in an apocalypse.
friend #2: i just think ok, well i guess it doesn’t matter what i do…i’m closer to tarani’s view.
friend#1: yeah, but you care. like, okay, i wasn’t a waste of space during my time on this earth.
me: yeah, i’ll be useful fending off the zombies!
friend#2: i guess i don’t feel like i’m a waste of space.
me: i’ll lead an army of black women managers who are resilient against stereotypes against ZOMBIES!
i’m obviously much more passionate about zombies, maybe i should reframe my entire research around terror management. lol
friend#2: like i was nice to one person and i’ve been at least one person’s friend and i’ve been somebody’s baby they adored at one point = not a waste.
wow, you are hardcore zombie.
friend#1: all that is regular. lol. i’m like, i have to accomplish something that fulfilled my utmost capacity up until that point.
friend #2: like you’re not a waste in our lives so there you go.
me: lol she doesn’t care about sentiment
friend #2: like what is a zombie anyway…how could you even know?
me: if someone tries to eat you, and they don’t die after you SHOOT it, it’s a zombie.
friend #2: i thought zombies were dead things. so the people who eat people don’t die if you shoot them in the right place.
me: in the brain.
man, you really need to brush up on your walking dead.
friend #2: yeah i’ve never seen that, but i heard it’s good.
i guess i’m also not understanding how you’re defining “accomplishment”
friend #1: yeah. walking dead is good. taught me a lot about zombies.
i have a dissertation in me, waiting to come out. so why wouldn’t i try to get it out before i leave? or before i get eaten? lol. like you don’t feel like you have something great to do?
me: that’s your utmost capacity? lol
friend #1: either way, i have not yet done that great thing.
up until this point.
me: not if doom is impending…
like, i feel like that regularly. but if the earth implodes, i won’t be thinking about that.
friend #1: after that, there’s more. but if it’s happening like, soon, then i can at least do that.
friend #2: yeah i mean i think utmost capacity changes all the time depending on the state of the world and where/how you’re most needed.
me: i mean, jokingly, i’d be relieved. but i’m pretty sure i’d care more about if my family has been eaten.
friend #2: i mean yeah, i don’t think i’ve done my great thing. if you put it that way, but i also don’t think i can’t when the world ends.
me: yeah, at that point, will they want me to pontificate about intersectionality? or shoot the effin zombie that’s eating their face? i think in that moment, my parents will be more proud of my shooting skills than my PhD. lol
friend #2: like i think the important parts of me continue in a different form like a zombie.
friend #1: i mean, of course i’d care about my fam, but i’d be done by then so i could truly have head space to get in survival mode.
me: you’re not gonna care about your dissertation if zombies were eating your sister.
friend#2: like maybe my great thing is being someone’s inspirational zombie.
and then you’d be like shoot, she’s a zombie.
friend #2: maybe i shouldn’t shoot it cause she was such a good friend pre zombie (lol)
friend #1: lol. you are missing the point. lol
friend #2: then you’d save me and convince the world we shouldn’t shoot all zombies
friend #1: it’s not about the zombies, it’s about how you feel about impending death.
friend #2: then it would be like walking dead meets true blood.
yeah, i’d just spend more time with people
me: go watch walking dead. you don’t know anything about zombies.
if you’re a zombie, i’m shooting you in the face.
friend #2: lol noooooo
me: i’ll be sad about it.
but you have to go.
friend #1: yeah. immediate death.
you have no feelings. like, no capacity to be empathetic or caring, you just wanna eat people.
me: yeah i was thinking about what i’d do if it only happened in the US like it does in the movies. and like how i wouldn’t be able to get there, or get people here. and then i just get sad. lol
friend #1: awwwww. i’d just be happy that it wasn’t happening to me. like, save up $ for them to come to france of whatever.
man, we need some military connects!
friend #2: yeah see hello.
that’s why i’m here.
i’d be like come to my belize family compound.
we have nepalese gurhkas.
and unmanned military drones. lol
me: lololol. as long as you’re not a zombie.
friend #2: no i won’t be a zombie. well the way she described it maybe i already am.
me: lol the main zombie characteristic is eating people. as long as you’re not doing that, you’re good.